Different Personalities

H/T: Orrologion

…When spouses have different personalities it helps in the raising of children even more. One spouse wants to put on the brakes a little, but the other says, “Give the children a little freedom.” If they both are overbearing they will lose their children. If however, they leave them on their own, again their children will be lost. Therefore, when the parents have different personalities, the children enjoy a certain stability.

– Elder Paisios of the Holy Mountain, abbreviated from Orthodox Heritage, vol. 7, Issue 07-08, p. 30.

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5 thoughts on “Different Personalities

  1. Well said, father. It’s not just a Serbian problem, though. It’s an Orthodox problem. True, economia occurs, but across all jurisdictions and Churches we have people who simply disregard the fasts at times. In some cases, nearly all the time.

    I agree fully with your step-by-step approach. I have found people cannot go from zero to sixty in 5.2 like some sports car. They need to work their way into a fasting discipline. That’s been my experience, anyhow.

  2. Elder Paisios is of course correct, but there is a point that must not be left out. A mother is usually the softening agent in disciplining of sons, and the father often in the disciplining of daughters. What must not be done under any circumstances is for one parent to interfere in the discipline that is to be applied in front of the child, because this erodes the authority of both parents, but especially in the case of the father for the boys. No discipline should be so instantly applied so as to make impossible the input of the other parent, if present. But in discipline of all types, both parents should be of one mind in front of the child. Accidental slips happen only when the parents themselves lack the self-discipline to work within God’s order for the family.

  3. The answer, of course, is that we should fast when our Slava falls on Wednesday or Friday. The problem with some, however, is that their parents and their parent’s parents and so on, never did it like that. They claim that one never eat fasting food at one’s Slava. I think it’s a matter of a complete spiritual renewal with our people. Therein lies the solution: your good friend, (perhaps even kum) comes to your Slava every year but you know they fast so when it falls on a Wed. or Fri. you prepare something lenten for them. In time, you have more and more guests who follow the church’s fasting calendar and, before you know, no one’s eating your barbecued lamb.

    In other words, it’s not a question of people fasting or not fasting on their Slava if it falls on a lenten day. It’s a question of Serbs fasting in general.

  4. In raising children, parents need to keep one word in mind: moderation. On the one hand, parents should not be too strict with children by criticizing every move they make; on the other hand, parents should not be too lenient with children by letting them do anything they want, and not saying anything. A blending of these two child-raising techniques — allowing children to be disciplined only when their misbehavior is really serious — will have a long-term positive impact, because it will result in children having a harmonious personality as they become adolescents and adults.

  5. Well then our kids are in great shape!!! lol

    The big topic on Facebook today…when your Slava falls on a Wednesday or Friday, should you fast? You would be surprised at the many answers and reasons why they are giving the answers. My answer was most definitely. This is not just a day to party and celebrate but we are to honor our Patron Saint. How then, can that be done if we do not follow the teachings of our church, on this very significant day (for Serbs).

    What is proper?

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